


Shaky Decisions

by koffeebean



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s03e14-15 The Boiling Rock, F/F, Fluff, Lesbian Ty Lee (Avatar), Ty Lee has some issues, Ty Lee's issues, Ty Lee-centric, What happened to Mai and Ty Lee?, i don't know what to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:35:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21630268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koffeebean/pseuds/koffeebean
Summary: Ty Lee sat on the cold concrete of the prison floor in the cell that Azula’s guards had them thrown into. In the Boiling Rock - a prison that nobody gets out of, even a girl like her. Not even the warden’s niece and her friend. Especially so soon after the first break out in the warden’s history happened just moments ago.Moments ago when Mai chose Zuko over her and Azula… moments later when Ty Lee did the exact same thing.Mai didn't...Azula…She had chosen Mai over Azula.She left her alone.Now Azula had nobody.-Ty Lee delves into her mind as she has time to think in the Boiling Rock cell and gains more than what she bargained for.
Relationships: Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar), Unrequited Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 89





	Shaky Decisions

**Author's Note:**

> I just love this episode because of how gay it is, for TyMai fans and Zukka fans alike. I'm both so I'm good. And Suki was just so cool in this episode too, I love her so much!
> 
> I've been feeling really down about my style of writing for a while, so for this I tried something a little different. Enjoy!!

Ty Lee sat on the cold concrete of the prison floor in the cell that Azula’s guards had them thrown into. In the Boiling Rock - a prison that _nobody_ gets out of, even a girl like her. Not even the warden’s niece and her friend. _Especially_ so soon after the first break out in the warden’s history happened just moments ago.

Moments ago when Mai chose Zuko over her and Azula… moments later when Ty Lee did the exact same thing.

Mai didn't...

Azula…

Ty Lee stifled a sob and turned it into a more positive sounding cough, ignoring Mai’s obvious zoning out in the other corner.

She had chosen Mai over Azula.

She…

She left her alone.

Now Azula had nobody.

It was one or the other - Ty Lee was always the one bridging Mai and Azula together. They got into fights; Azula teased and picked on Mai over Zuko so it was inevitable that there would be bad blood between them. Mai would clearly get on Azula’s nerves when they hung out for periods of time, especially in those first few months back at the Academy. Azula’s bright, electric blue aura would dampen and be infected with an ugly, solid violent red near the edges, and Ty Lee would then know to sooth the tension with a joke, or a sudden bright idea.

It was tiring, sure, but it was worth it. They'd stay together, just as they were supposed to…

But when she had to choose between the two, it was once again always up to her on who would be left alone and it always had to be Mai out of fear of what Azula would do if she chose to leave her alone in her anger. So she chose Azula, no matter what or even how cruel she had been.

Three was such an awful number, the absolute worst. She realised with a start that that was why three had always been her most hated amount of people.

Breathing damp prison air into her lungs, she risked glanced over at Mai, but she was still staring at the bars. They weren't even allowed a cell with a door; the princess seemed too mad so they put them in the deranged cells. The ones suited for the murderers and serial killers.

The ones for true, evil criminals.

Is that what they were now?

She… she just didn't know!

“Ty Lee.”

She chose Mai over Azula for the first time ever.

If she hadn't, Azula was going to kill her.

_( But now Azula is alone )_

She was going to _kill_ Mai. That very kata had been branded into her memory from traveling through the Earth Kingdom with Azula.

_( Azula is going to be driven to insanity. You know first hand how bad she got after her talks with the Fire Lord, and you still chose Mai. She has no one. )_

Mai was going to be seriously injured at best. She couldn't do _nothing._

_( You could have pleaded with her. She's alone )_

There was no pleading. Azula was purely furious. The solid red had taken over. There was no more of that beautiful blue anymore.

_( Mai knew what she was getting into; she turned against the law and the crown princess )_

But…

 _( Her steadying blue is gone. Her mind is infested completely in the violent_ **_red_ ** . _She will have to deal with it alone )_

_( Alone )_

_( Alone )_

“Stop, Ty, you're shaking!”

Ty Lee shot back from her thoughts with a squeak. Mai’s face was blurred by the tears, so she blinked furiously through the tears to see her.

 _( Crying can be used against you. Tears will fester her aura to_ **_guilty purple_ ** _and it'll be your fault. She'll only comfort you out of obligation because you made her feel guilty )_

She felt rather than saw a hesitant arm slide around her shoulders, and suddenly Mai was beside her. Comforting her.

 _( Out of obligation_ )

The nasty voice sounded in her head as she hid her face in her hands.

“Ty, give me your hands.”

Mai dragged one of hers away from her face with her free hand, and it was warm for once, unusual past the normal cold. Ty Lee opened her eyes and craned her neck to look at the girl beside her.

_( The criminal girl )_

_( You're a criminal now, too )_

Mai was still her foggy grey, she has been ever since she had first met her. The one constant in her life among a rapidly changing Azula as her father put more and more pressure on her to perform.

_( She's alone )_

Maybe it was her wishful thinking - actually, it was most definitely her wishful thinking - but she thought she saw Mai’s aura soften at the edges.

“It's going to be okay.” Mai dragged her gaze away from Ty Lee and past the bars of their cell. “My uncle’s the warden.”

_( You chose Mai )_

“I left Azula,” she said instead.

Mai’s eyes darted back to hers, uncharacteristically open and searching. For what, she didn't know. Maybe for pools of lies or regret.

“I don't regret it, she… she was going to kill you.”

She thought they were friends.

“We were supposed to stick together. But then- then she..”

Mai’s eyes closed, seemingly satisfied, if not a little sad. At least; her aura was acting in that way. Her face remained as impassive as ever.

“I know. She went overboard.”

Ty Lee felt something ugly rear inside her, but she couldn't bottle it like usual in her exhausted state. “You went overboard too!” She could feel her face warming up in shock at finally bursting, but she couldn't stop. “Why did you disobey her? You know how she gets! She was going to _kill_ you, Mai! How would you feel if she actually shot you with her fire?” She gave a humourless laugh as she tugged on her hair which had raggedly fallen half-out of her braid. “Or maybe you wouldn't have felt anything at all, because you'd be dead!”

Mai’s aura shuddered, and her arm withdrew from around her shoulders. Ty Lee missed the warmth, wishing for it to envelop her once more, soothing her bumps and filling the cracks in her soul. She instantly felt ashamed that she did, flinching away.

“I did what I had to do. What would you expect me to do, let them cut the ropes and let the gondola fall into the thousand degree lake?! Those guards were going to kill Zuko and his friends by letting them, and you, might I add, fall into the water.”

Oh. Of course. Zuko… he was her first and only priority.

Ty Lee looked down at her lap.

It was Zuko, her _boyfriend._ She tried to save her- her _boyfriend_ and his friends.

She forgot about that part… quite willingly.

_( Oh what. Are you jealous or something? )_

Shame dredged through her entirely.

Mai sighed, a familiar noise. “Look.. just stop.” This time two hands wrapped around hers, with both arms freed, and Ty Lee put all her energy into not looking up at her. She didn't want to see the exasperation and anger.

_( Azula would be disappointed )_

“Azula’s alone. She doesn't have anyone,” she couldn't help but mumble, barely audible, even to her own ears. “She's _alone_.”

_( Alone )_

A warm hand covered her cheek, not forcing her to move, but she did anyways on her own accord, looking into Mai’s damp eyes.

_( You've made her guilty and forced her to comfort. I hope you're happy )_

Mai was showing emotion so evidently. For the whole world to see.

Or at least for Ty Lee.

Ty Lee couldn't help but let her own tears fall, running her makeup down her face.

Out of all the things that Mai could have said next: “Zuko isn't… he isn't my boyfriend.”

Ty Lee hiccupped. “He's not?”

Mai hmmed, and Ty Lee felt her shameful hope simmer again. Heh, simmer like- like Azula’s flames.

All bases of hope popped at the thought, but Mai kept her hand on Ty Lee’s cheek, unmoving.

“You… you chose me, Ty. Over Azula. I thought you…”

_( Loved her )_

_( Had feelings for her? )_

The statement was left unsaid, but not unheard.

Ty Lee shuffled into a more comfortable position before her leg went dead. “No. Well, I did love her, but not since she cheered at Zuko’s Agni Kai.” She paused to allow Mai to process her words. “Zuko was our friend, her brother, and she _smiled_. The Fire Lord’s indoctrination on her was too deep, and… I was hurt,” she stuttered over her words. “She wouldn't let me visit him until he _got_ _better_ , but then when I went to see if he was better he- he was gone.” Her fists tightened into balls. “She _knew_ he was banished, so she knew I wouldn't see him in that state in case I felt pity over what happened to him.”

Ty Lee felt tears streaming down her face, and she continued on before the voice in her head could get a word in.

“I’m weak, and she knew I would fold over to his side if I knew what the Fire Lord had done to his own son. She kept me from the truth for so long. I didn't know he was burned by his father during that fight until two years after his banishment when the palace cook and I were talking about freaking _peanut-shrews_ . She _lied_ to me for two years.”

Arms encased her in a sure and steady hug, and Ty Lee was overtaken by the strangeness and warmth it brought with it but she honestly didn't care, buried feelings of three years came flowing out.

“She… she lied to me,” she whispered against Mai’s shoulder. She was dampening the fabric of her shirt.

“She lied to me too.”

The hug was warm, and Agni it was comforting. Ty Lee relaxed into the embrace.

_( But is it real? )_

_( Does Mai even like hugs? She's never hugged anybody before )_

_No_.

Mai initiated the hug.

She didn't have to, but she did.

Just like Ty Lee.

Ty Lee didn't have to help Mai. She didn't have to paralyse Azula. She didn't have to side against her. But she did.

And she didn't regret it.

A blush on her tear-streaked face, and Mai’s aura growing warmer than the grey was all she needed to know that she had made the right choice. The right choice was difficult, uncomfortable, and got her stuck in a cold cell, but she was in a cold cell with Mai. They were together, like they were supposed to be.

Mai cared for her, as much as she cared for Mai.

There was no imbalance of power; no caring only for the sake of needing her talents. Sure, Azula had started out real and playful, but she had developed to a point under pressure. Like a diamond, sharp and unbreaking unless broken by another diamond.

Now wasn't the time to burst into song about her love for Mai, but she huddled closer to Mai’s warmth, and felt arms squeeze around her.

“After the war, I promise I will ask you out. Properly.”

Mai was silent for a moment, and Ty Lee froze, afraid that she had ruined the moment. Oh Agni, what if she did. What if she read the entire moment wrong. Mai would think she was weird and would never want to see her again.

Shamed, she moved to slip out of the hug and was prepared to sit in the corner ignoring everything, but then Mai tightened her hold so she couldn't slip out, and she felt her nod against her head. “You better hold up on that promise. I want to be wooed.”

Ty Lee laughed, and her heart felt lighter than it had in a long time. Even thought she was in a damp, criminal’s prison.

It wasn't saying yes to a date, per say, but it was saying yes to asking her on a date after the war. So it was like a double yes, which was basically double happiness.

The war would end.

It had to.

They'd win, and then they'd be able to go on a proper date, not in these prison canteens which were no doubt gross. Not in the prison courtyard where a hundred or so other prisoners would be and they'd get no privacy.

If they were even allowed out into the courtyard with the other prisoners.

Azula would definitely let them, just to show them how low they sank to be considered one of these criminals locked up here.

Yeah, the war _would_ end and their friend Zuko would become a better Fire Lord than anyone before him...

There was no breaking a promise.

**Author's Note:**

> And scene. 
> 
> Okay so I daydreamed a lot about Ty Lee, and I realised that her inner voice would be a lot like my own - being guilty and ashamed for the whole “forcing people to feel that they have to comfort you when you look upset so you never cry and always have to seem bubbly and upbeat and happy” thing that is extremely exhausting… 
> 
> Sooo anyway, who better to write this mindset than someone who has this mindset? Tadaa, writing problem solved! Plus the whole lesbian early days of feeling ashamed? We've all been there Ty, some more recently and still working through that that others. *stares into the distance through the mirror*
> 
> Bonus Fact: When Ty Lee says “double happiness” it's like happiness, which is 喜 while 囍 literally means double happiness and is a Chinese symbol commonly used at weddings. God I love linguistics, I find this kind of stuff to be really interesting.
> 
> After all that, I hope you have a wonderful day/night! I'm so happy you reached the end, especially if you read all my ramblings. You really deserve one heck of a good time. :D
> 
> If you wish to get me on tumblr, my avatar blog is [@zukovatar ](https://zukovatar.tumblr.com)


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